For my final blog I wanted to choose an article that composed most of the elements we have talked about throughout the course that were not always seen in Gary Klien’s articles. I also wanted to choose something that I had a connection to. This article, written by Mark Prado of the Marin Independent Journal, is about two different things; a raise in bridge toll (for the Golden Gate Bridge) and how this would benefit the production of a suicide barrier.
Both of these aspects of the story are extremely important, but for very different reasons. They have increased the bridge toll numerous times in the past couple of years, which makes commuting into the city (something I did for almost three years) very difficult to do because it gets expensive when you add the days and months up. Creating a suicide barrier is also very important because the suicide rate for the Golden Gate Bridge is extremely high, and it would probably go down if a suicide barrier were put up. The article had numerous multimedia elements. Included were three video clips and two images. All five of these different elements added to this story; although I do think three videos is a little excessive. It’s refreshing to see these multimedia elements because in the 10 articles I analyzed Gary Klien only used multimedia elements in three of them. This article also used quotes from a Marin supervisor; which added to the story. One thing I would have done differently is something that I would think would be a no brainer. I would add quotes from commuters on their thoughts on the increase in toll. This might be more suitable for an opinion article rather than a news article, but I still think it would be interesting. Even as a separate article it would be interesting to do a reaction piece or something of the sort hearing from commuters who will be most affected by the toll increase. There were other elements in the story that also made it more appealing. For example, on the right hand of the story there was a column titled ‘related stories’ where it showed all of the stories related to this article, and the dates the said articles were published. On the left hand of the article there was a dropdown bar for sharing the article through social media. The bar gave the options of sharing the article on Twitter, Facebook, Gmail, and InShare. It also had a counter that showed how many times the story was shared on each medium. I think that this is very effective; however it hasn’t been for this particular story. I, myself, have used the share option on other stories so I know this is something that is worth having on your page. One thing I noticed about this article is something in the AP style handbook. I noticed that Prado wrote $5, but on the other hand he wrote 25 percent. What I don’t understand is how you can use the dollar sign in articles, but you can’t use the symbol for percent. For strengths, I think the article was well written and included all of the facts. He gave just enough information and tied in all of the facts. For weaknesses I think Prado should have gotten some reaction quotes from commuters. I really think that would add to the article because it would help commuters relate more to the story. http://www.marinij.com/goldengatebridge/ci_25248656/golden-gate-bridge-board-approves-series-toll-hikes
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This article, written by Gary Klien, is about a group of Novato firemen who sued for their retirement funds, among a few other factors.
The facts of the article are somewhat confusing, but I think that is only because the case itself is confusing. I think Klien did a good job of dumbing the facts down for readers and explaining the facts in a way that they make sense. His last article that was fact heavy was confusing in his writing style, so I think this time he did a much better job. This article taught me many things about how to phrase certain words and also about different AP style terms. For example, Klien used phrases like “in favor of” when it came to who won the case. That might be common sense to phrase it like that, but I feel like I may have mistakenly worded it differently. Reading these articles is helping me grow as a writer. I would think to word something one way, but seeing it written in a completely different way from mine has been a great way to improve my writing. Klien did say something that I was curious about. He said “following a trial that dragged from September to late March”. I’m not sure but I think the way he phrased that, adding in the word ‘dragged’, adds his opinion into the article. I think maybe he should have used a different word because to me it seems like that is his opinion. Someone could read the article and argue that the trial needed that extra time to come to a decision on the case. I think his strengths were definitely his writing style. This article, compared to the articles of his that I have read in the past, shows off his skills as a writer. I also think the article flows really well. Klien goes into detail about the background of the case, the parties involved in the case, and closes with the upcoming court dates. I think although the facts of articles are important in the story, quotes are just as important. Quotes completely bring the article together. It adds somewhat of a personal testimony to the article, and makes it more interesting and believable. Klien got quotes from two of the group of people representing the plaintiffs, which were nice to see. If I were to cover this story there is only one thing I would do differently; I would add an image. Even if it were something simple like a picture of one of the Novato firehouses I think it would be a positive addition to the article. I think pictures are a great addition to articles, and I don’t like how Klien hardly ever has images or multimedia components. I was immediately drawn to this article because from the time I was born till the age of 13 I lived in the small Northern California marijuana smoking, free loving, hippie town, Fairfax. That, and of course, that Gary Klien wrote the article.
For the first time I do notice a small “related stories” section next to the article. Under this section the reader can find articles relating to the man involved in this case. Klien references other articles he wrote about the man so that makes it easy for the reader to just have the link right there to click on. It would be nice if he would embed the article into a word in the article itself. That was if you were to click on the certain word it would make it even faster to take you to the other article. I don’t know if there is a word for this, but I have seen it before on celebrity blogger Perez Hilton’s website. For strengths, I really like how detailed he went into the story and the details of the people involved. He included details in current and past cases, as well as where they are right now. I think adding that in at the end of the story really ties the article together nice. He also used correct AP terms, and inverted pyramid style. News values would be somewhat novelty, I think. If you actually read the whole article, it talks about hidden passages and secret chambers which I find fun and interesting. Another news value is proximity for those who live in Fairfax and the surrounding towns. A lot of people there do smoke (and have medical cards) so having someone get raided in your town for something you partake in is newsworthy. For weaknesses, I just don’t like how he continually can’t reach anyone for comment (this goes for most of his articles). I feel like this is how it is in many, if not all, of his stories. It might be nice if he could get a quote from someone, anyone, even if it isn’t someone who is directly related to the case. If I were to cover the story I would do two things different. I would add a picture, either of the men in the case, the house that was raided, or one of the popular hangout spots in Fairfax (the atmosphere in Fairfax is really friendly and homely so having a picture of the Fairfax sign or a popular outside hangout spot might be nice, just to show how marijuana friendly they are). It would be awesome if he could have gotten a picture of the secret chambers/entrances or even the marijuana plants, but I’m assuming this isn’t possible in a federal investigation. Another thing I would do different is add in a quote. I understand he isn’t able to get a quote from the man who is being convicted (even if he is out on bail), but he could look elsewhere. There definitely isn’t a shortage of people who smoke marijuana in Fairfax. I think it might be nice to hear some reactions of the raiding from both marijuana and non-marijuana smokers. I know this is a news story, and not an opinion piece, but I think it might be a fun addition to the article. http://www.creightonian.com/news/article_334b0950-9b1b-11e3-929c-0017a43b2370.html#user-comment-area
My article was put up on the Creightonian website on my 25th birthday :)
http://www.creightonian.com/news/article_38e696d0-8df2-11e3-9039-0017a43b2370.html http://www.creightonian.com/news/article_3440e5d8-9d18-11e3-b7ce-001a4bcf6878.html
http://www.creightonian.com/news/article_10145526-a5c6-11e3-8328-001a4bcf6878.html
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