This article was written by Gary Klien, who I am starting to grow less and less interested in his articles. I initially picked to analyze his articles because the first one I read was pretty interesting, but now I most of them are hard to read. This particular story is about how two cashiers were cited in an undercover sting operation for selling alcohol to minors.
The story was written in inverted pyramid style and has correctly used AP style terms. The only AP style issue I had was when he wrote “from 5 to 10 p.m.” I was curious as if the reader is just supposed to assume that it was from 5 p.m. and not 5 a.m. since he didn’t specify it. I think the only strengths of the article were that he wrote it with correct AP style terms and that he included all of the basic facts. There were many more weaknesses than strengths from my viewpoint. I think that the story is really just boring. I think it was poorly written and the quotes he did get from the two cashiers make the article even harder to read because there so bland. With the topic of selling to minors being so huge, especially in small counties like Marin, I think he could have done so much more with the story. There aren’t any multimedia elements to the story. I am beginning to think that Gary Klien just covers the smaller, less important stories maybe; so he doesn’t need to add those elements. I don’t necessarily think there is something missing from the article; I just think it could have been written completely different. I were to have covered the story myself I would have tried to pry a little more out of the two cashiers because both of them basically said the exact same thing. I also would have gone out and talked to parents and high school students to see what they thought about the operation. There is a big amount of teenagers who do get their hands on alcohol so I’m sure they would have something interesting to say that could have added to this. Talking to parents would also have helped the story’s news values because (I think) most parents would have the same view points on the topic.
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This article, written by Gary Klien of the Marin Independent Journal, is about a man who was charged with driving while intoxicated. I wanted to write about this article specifically because it deals with how to word convictions and crime, which we started to learn about with the AP Style terms homicide, murder, and manslaughter. The article uses phrases like “Gipson was charged” because he had not yet been convicted and “Gipson allegedly drove” because without proof it is just speculation.
The article, like the others I have read, is in inverted pyramid style, and correctly uses AP style terms. From this article I learned how to correctly use blood-alcohol level according to AP style. Klien gives a short recap of the incident using attributions, rather than quotes. Mari Heller used attribution in her article that I peer reviewed; which helped me understand how it is used. I had been a little unclear on the correct way to do this so seeing it in her article and Klien’s article has helped me understand how to correctly do this. I think the only news value is proximity because the incident occurred in Marin County. I suppose it could be a novelty because he already has at least four prior convictions. Klien wrote “convictions in 2005 in Marin, 2008 in Mendocino County and 2010 and 2012 in Sonoma County”. I want to know if he should have put county along with Marin. Although people who live in Marin call it Marin, it is still a county, not a city or a town. The lead included the ‘who, what, when, and where’ although it didn’t include the man’s name yet. I am kind of confused on the how. Technically how he was charged is included. He was charged because he was driving while intoxicated. I suppose the why was included because he was, again, driving while intoxicated. Klien didn’t use any multimedia elements; however these short reports don’t seem to need a visual element. I suppose he could have used a mug shot of Gipson since he probably wasn’t on the scene when the incident occurred. I don’t think I would have done anything different from Klien. He went so far as to stating his specific DUI convictions in the past, and that he remained in custody on a $100,000 bail. That detail really does make the article more interesting even though the topic of DUI incidents is covered a lot. The article I chose this week was written by the same author I have been observing, Gary Klein. The story he published in the Marin Independent Journal is about a carjacking suspect who was taken down by his victim.
This article was well written and, as usual, is in inverted pyramid style. Klein keeps the article simple with his words and facts, and uses AP style with age, height, time, street names, cities, and titles. The articles news values were proximity and somewhat novelty and impact. The articles proximity and impact are definitely going to affect those who reside in Marin City. The crime occurred in Marin City, and those who live there will have to be more careful with things like leaving their car doors unlocked while it is running. I think this article is somewhat of a novelty because the girl victim chose to fight back and won. The lead was very clear and concise. Klein puts the ‘who, what, where and why’ in the lead and then follows up with the ‘when and how’ in the next few sentences. Klein didn’t use any media elements in the story. This would have been hard to do unless he was on the scene when the incident occurred. If necessary he could have put in a picture of the place the incident occurred. Since this incident wasn’t big news I don’t think the use of a media element is important. The only thing I noticed that was not in the story was any direct quotes. If I were to cover the story I would have tried to get a quote from the victim because even though she was successful what she did was very dangerous. I think people would find her story interesting. I might have written the story from a completely different angle and centered the story on her, not the incident. |
PaigeCreighton University Archives
December 2017
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